Four Common Thesis Statement Mistakes in Academic Essays –
A thesis statement is a clearly-worded summary of your opinion about a topic. In my teaching, I encourage students to think of a thesis statement as the ‘heart’ of their essays: just as a human body needs a healthy heart to be at its best, an essay can’t truly succeed with a weak thesis statement.
A good thesis statement will:
- Present the writer’s own unique opinion
- Be clear and not overly wordy
- Address the essay topic directly
Writing a clear, strong thesis statement is a difficult skill to master. To help your ideas truly shine, avoid the following mistakes that inexperienced writers sometimes make:
Mistake #1: Stating a Topic rather than an Opinion
These thesis statements both have a serious weakness:
⊗ The subject of this paper will be the presidential election.
⊗ I want to examine the role of public libraries in a community.
In fact, these are not really thesis statements at all—they simply announce the writer’s topic. A thesis must express an opinion about a limited subject.
One good way to check if you are expressing an opinion is to ask yourself, “Could someone possibly disagree with me?” If the answer is no, there is a good chance you are giving a fact, not an opinion. Try one of these instead:
⇒ The upcoming presidential election is the most important of our lifetimes.
⇒ Public libraries have a central role in developing community relationships.
Mistake #2: Making Your Opinion Too General
The following thesis statements will likely give you trouble:
⊗ The process for electing an American president should be reformed.
⊗ Public libraries are important to the community.
For a short essay, these statements take too big of a view on the topic. Entire books could be written about them!
You will have more success and writing will be easier if you limit your subject to something you can discuss thoroughly in around 1,200 words. These are better:
⇒ Money has too big an influence on the outcome of U.S. presidential elections.
⇒ Public libraries provide three key services to the community.
Mistake #3: Making Your Opinion Too Specific
These thesis statements have the opposite problem from the last group:
⊗ Presidential elections in the U.S. take place every four years.
⊗ People of all ages spend time at the library.
These are sometimes called “dead-end statements” because there is no room to develop them. They are far too specific! Plus, as with mistake #1, these statements aren’t actually opinions—they’re facts.
Make sure your unique opinion has room to develop:
⇒ The term of U.S. presidents should be extended from four years to five.
⇒ Weekly visits to the public library are a great way to meet new people.
Mistake #4: Presenting Two Ideas at Once
Avoid packing too many ideas into your thesis:
⊗ To identify more quality presidential candidates, we need higher standards for who is allowed to run.
⊗ Public libraries have great study materials, but they often lack comfortable places to read them.
Because these thesis statements put equal emphasis on two different ideas, the reader doesn’t know the true focus of the essay. Even if you are writing a comparison-contrast essay, the focus of your opinion must be clear, whether you prefer one thing or think both things are equally good.
These two thesis statements provide a much clearer direction:
⇒ All Americans would benefit if the requirements for running for president were changed in the following ways:
⇒ Public libraries should focus more on creating comfortable study spaces so that people can make better use of reading materials.
Practice Exercises
Part A
For each thesis, decide if it’s too general, too specific, or good (answers below).
1. The amount of waste that the average American family produces is unbelievable.
2. The first computer I owned was a TRS-80 with a green monochrome monitor.
3. Local governments must do more to help create part-time jobs for teenagers.
4. Immigration has changed our society.
5. People who receive regular dental care have overall better health than those who don’t.
6. Action must be taken to limit the use of artificial intelligence in education.
Part B
For each thesis, decide if it’s a topic announcement, contains two ideas, or is good (answers below).
_____ 1. It’s important for neighbors to respect each other’s space while also being ready to help when needed.
_____ 2. Many people believe that prayer should be allowed in public schools.
_____ 3. Daytime television should include more educational and motivational programming.
_____ 4. This essay will focus on the use of cell phones in American classrooms.
_____ 5. It is important to take an extended vacation at least once a year.
_____ 6. My first boss was a demanding workaholic who taught me the importance of rest.
Answers:
Part A: 1- Too General, 2- Too Specific, 3- Good, 4- Too General, 5- Too Specific, 6- Too General
Part B: 1- Two Ideas, 2- Topic Announcement, 3- Good, 4- Topic Announcement, 5- Good, 6- Two Ideas
Thanks for spending time with these four common thesis statement mistakes. I hope they help make you a better writer!
One of my favorite things is helping people strengthen their writing skills. If you’d like to learn more about how ESOL Advantage tutoring can help you, reach out to me today at moc.e1740078515gatna1740078515vdalo1740078515se@pk1740078515ram1740078515 or connect through our Contact Form.
For more great writing tips, take a look at Essential Writing Skills for College and Beyond (available on Amazon)
Also, be sure to check out my article about the Four Basic Parts of an Essay
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